It's that time...
That time when you turn the page in life and start fresh in a new place.
I'm not only doing that in my life but also on my blog. If you want to see what's new in my life head on over to my new place at:
sarahsfootprints.wordpress.com
See you there!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Nakate
Please, please, PLEASE check out this organization. For me. It's working it's fanny off to help women in Uganda and the best part of it all is that YOU can help out AND look great while doing it!
"We brought back a piece of Africa. Now we want to know, where will YOU take it next? Take us with you -
http://nakateproject.com/
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJznlfTHh2M&feature=youtu.be
"We brought back a piece of Africa. Now we want to know, where will YOU take it next? Take us with you -
http://nakateproject.com/
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJznlfTHh2M&feature=youtu.be
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A book called Encouragement...
Ok the title of the this post is weird. Whatever.
The point is that I was encouraged while reading a book the last few days and I thought someone else might want a bit of it too.
One (of the many) revelations I had while reading said book:
When you are fighting so hard for something for such a long period of time and it seems like nothing you do is working....it really is....you just can't see it. The reason (I believe) you can't see it is because if you did you wouldn't fight as hard, and the intensity with which you fight must remain until the final victory. If you let up even a bit, even for a second, you will lose what you're fighting for. That's why we can't see the progress we make as it's happening, because we need to keep fighting with everything we have. So sometimes God keeps us from seeing the fruit of our efforts till it's completely ripened.
The point is that I was encouraged while reading a book the last few days and I thought someone else might want a bit of it too.
One (of the many) revelations I had while reading said book:
When you are fighting so hard for something for such a long period of time and it seems like nothing you do is working....it really is....you just can't see it. The reason (I believe) you can't see it is because if you did you wouldn't fight as hard, and the intensity with which you fight must remain until the final victory. If you let up even a bit, even for a second, you will lose what you're fighting for. That's why we can't see the progress we make as it's happening, because we need to keep fighting with everything we have. So sometimes God keeps us from seeing the fruit of our efforts till it's completely ripened.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
A Kid's Size Lesson
I'm sitting here in the production center, the place which over the last few months has basically served as my second home. For the last eleven hours I've been transferring all my hard work (photos, videos, etc) from the school's computer to mine.
While waiting for the files to transfer I decided to see what films I could find on YouTube and I got lucky with Disney's Mulan. I assume that you've all seen it before, and if you haven't, you ought to watch it (because I'll spoil it for you if you keep reading).
I think as adults it's too easy for us to pass off material meant for children as, "meaningless for us". If we still struggle with things as adults that troubled us as kids, it is equally possible for things that helped, motivated and encouraged us as kids to do the same for us still.
Children's stories ought never to be taken for granted.
When I got to the part of the film where Mulan is found out by the army and they spare her life but leave her on the mountain, I found myself sympathizing with her. I knew (I thought) exactly what she felt...not knowing which way to go because everything she had worked so hard for - poured her life into - was no longer an option. She felt lost, unsure whether she should go home or follow after the army or just sit there on the side of the road.
That's exactly where I've been for the last few weeks since graduation. I've been wrestling with all the things I want to do with my life, now that I'm "free" from school and just as seriously I've been unable to come to any conclusions. I've spent a lifetime "doing" school. A student's is the only life I've ever known, and now, I have to make new decisions. It's really difficult and rather scary.
Inspiration found me as I watched what happened next in Mulan's story. While trying to figure out which way she should go or what to do, the Huns (the army she had just helped destroy) resurrected itself and went after the Imperial city and the Emperor.
It forced her hand. Her circumstances took away her time to think and only gave her the option to act. She went after the Huns which turned out to be the right decision (obviously, I mean this is a Disney film we're talking about). What inspired me so much about this was the fact that when pressed hard enough she just acted on what she knew was right with herself and right to do.
I believe that deep down in the darkest corner of me, I really do know what I want next in my life and the only thing stopping me from going after it is all the thinking I do. I've been over-thinking and over-analyzing every option trying to make the smartest and best decision when all I really need to do is pick something and go for it.
Yes it is my life. Yes this is a big, somewhat serious decision. And yes, everything will be fine if I just pick a direction and go with it. The question I'm left with now is, "Do I have the courage to do what is necessary....to start moving and trust I'll instinctively make the right move?"
It takes courage to live life....ya?
While waiting for the files to transfer I decided to see what films I could find on YouTube and I got lucky with Disney's Mulan. I assume that you've all seen it before, and if you haven't, you ought to watch it (because I'll spoil it for you if you keep reading).
I think as adults it's too easy for us to pass off material meant for children as, "meaningless for us". If we still struggle with things as adults that troubled us as kids, it is equally possible for things that helped, motivated and encouraged us as kids to do the same for us still.
Children's stories ought never to be taken for granted.
When I got to the part of the film where Mulan is found out by the army and they spare her life but leave her on the mountain, I found myself sympathizing with her. I knew (I thought) exactly what she felt...not knowing which way to go because everything she had worked so hard for - poured her life into - was no longer an option. She felt lost, unsure whether she should go home or follow after the army or just sit there on the side of the road.
That's exactly where I've been for the last few weeks since graduation. I've been wrestling with all the things I want to do with my life, now that I'm "free" from school and just as seriously I've been unable to come to any conclusions. I've spent a lifetime "doing" school. A student's is the only life I've ever known, and now, I have to make new decisions. It's really difficult and rather scary.
Inspiration found me as I watched what happened next in Mulan's story. While trying to figure out which way she should go or what to do, the Huns (the army she had just helped destroy) resurrected itself and went after the Imperial city and the Emperor.
It forced her hand. Her circumstances took away her time to think and only gave her the option to act. She went after the Huns which turned out to be the right decision (obviously, I mean this is a Disney film we're talking about). What inspired me so much about this was the fact that when pressed hard enough she just acted on what she knew was right with herself and right to do.
I believe that deep down in the darkest corner of me, I really do know what I want next in my life and the only thing stopping me from going after it is all the thinking I do. I've been over-thinking and over-analyzing every option trying to make the smartest and best decision when all I really need to do is pick something and go for it.
Yes it is my life. Yes this is a big, somewhat serious decision. And yes, everything will be fine if I just pick a direction and go with it. The question I'm left with now is, "Do I have the courage to do what is necessary....to start moving and trust I'll instinctively make the right move?"
It takes courage to live life....ya?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Fairytales...
I think when we're kids we always imagine that when we're "grown up" everything will make sense and we'll have all the answers because adults know everything there is to know.
As we "grow up" and reach different stages of life like high school we realize that the grown ups don't always have all the answers. In fact a lot of the time they're wrong, leaving us to search for the true answers on our own. This of course leads to mistakes which can cause (as we all know too well) a lot of drama in our social life. That's when we begin believing that when we are "grown up" we will escape the drama because adults "never make mistakes".
Then we graduate college and realize that the unknowing, the drama...it never really goes away. It only fades a little. We only learn how to deal with it quicker because we've been dealing with it longer.
We realize as we step into the world of "grown ups" that adults really aren't that much different than we were as kids. They (I mean "we", of course) feel confused and hurt and insecure just as much as we did "growing up".
It's funny how a whole lifetime of understanding adults to be indestructible can turn in an instant...that instant when you realize you are an adult and all those things you believed turned out to be fairytales you made up somewhere in your imagination.
It's these fairytales that can prevent a person from living his or her life. A life spent trying to "have all the answers" or "never mess up or feel pain" is not a life at all. It's an attempt to remain a kid, afraid to cross over into the unknown. I know this because I've been doing it for years. I've realized though that life is not something you achieve or complete...at least not while you're living it. It's an on-going experience that you don't really get to look back on till it's over.
So what if you don't have the answers, keep looking...mess up...feel the pain; because that's what it is to be a "grown up". To feel all the confusion and pain and keep on walking, keep on trying....keep on living. It's to know that life isn't always comfortable, to face the fear of that fact with resolve, refusing to surrender to it's power.
Be the hero in your life's story. L I V E . Life finishes itself, so live now and live well.
That's what I'm going to do...get in the game(finally).
You in?
As we "grow up" and reach different stages of life like high school we realize that the grown ups don't always have all the answers. In fact a lot of the time they're wrong, leaving us to search for the true answers on our own. This of course leads to mistakes which can cause (as we all know too well) a lot of drama in our social life. That's when we begin believing that when we are "grown up" we will escape the drama because adults "never make mistakes".
Then we graduate college and realize that the unknowing, the drama...it never really goes away. It only fades a little. We only learn how to deal with it quicker because we've been dealing with it longer.
We realize as we step into the world of "grown ups" that adults really aren't that much different than we were as kids. They (I mean "we", of course) feel confused and hurt and insecure just as much as we did "growing up".
It's funny how a whole lifetime of understanding adults to be indestructible can turn in an instant...that instant when you realize you are an adult and all those things you believed turned out to be fairytales you made up somewhere in your imagination.
It's these fairytales that can prevent a person from living his or her life. A life spent trying to "have all the answers" or "never mess up or feel pain" is not a life at all. It's an attempt to remain a kid, afraid to cross over into the unknown. I know this because I've been doing it for years. I've realized though that life is not something you achieve or complete...at least not while you're living it. It's an on-going experience that you don't really get to look back on till it's over.
So what if you don't have the answers, keep looking...mess up...feel the pain; because that's what it is to be a "grown up". To feel all the confusion and pain and keep on walking, keep on trying....keep on living. It's to know that life isn't always comfortable, to face the fear of that fact with resolve, refusing to surrender to it's power.
Be the hero in your life's story. L I V E . Life finishes itself, so live now and live well.
That's what I'm going to do...get in the game(finally).
You in?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Beautiful Berkeley
Well, I'm sitting in Caffe Mediterraneum in Berkeley, CA right now trying to get all my work done before I get back to good old L.A. I can tell you right now that that is not going to happen, but what is happening as I write is the thought that people are beautiful because they have souls.
Just about everyone has heard the stereotypical nickname for Berkeley "Bizerkley" and I just realized, not for the first time, that there is something dangerous in stereotypes. They prevent you from seeing what is really there. Stereotypes tell you what you're seeing, they take away your freedom of interpretation (to a certain extent).
For instance, if a person had never been to Berkeley before but had heard about all the strange kind of people who live here, they would possibly feel that there is no reason to go to Berkeley since they already "know" what's there. Or, perhaps, they would visit Berkeley and only see enough of it to justify and prove the stereotype they have heard. It takes a rare person to hear of a stereotype, see the stereotype and still look deeper. As I've tried to do that over the last few hours as I walked from Crepevine to Amoeba to Moes and finally to Caffe Med I've seen some incredibly beautiful people that everyone else seems to glance over.
I know I'm as guilty of this "glancing over" as the next person is so I'm not trying to bash on anyone who's done it; but I am trying to bring to light the fact that there is something in every human being that makes them beautiful, whether you're attracted to them aesthetically or not. I think it's the same thing that makes each person so uniquely different. There's a light in a person's eyes that doesn't quite shine exactly the same as the light in everyone else's eyes.
Growing up I heard the phrase, "The eyes are the window to the soul" and I think that's exactly true in this instance. And, I think, it is this glimpse you get when you look into a person's eyes that makes them beautiful. Their innermost being, not what they cloth themselves with, is what makes them beautiful. I can say that, "God created man in His own image" and that's why we, as living souls are beautiful, because we have been made in likeness to Him who is Beauty. You may ask me to defend my self on that claim and I will, gladly, but not in this post. The point of this post is to point out the fact that aesthetics are not what make a person beautiful, aesthetics are merely the things that attract different kinds of people to other people and things.
My question then, is this: How or why are aesthetics a reflection or interpretation of beauty? Why do we feel a need to create aesthetics? Is it because it is the only way we can express the beauty we know is within ourselves?
I have my own thoughts on this but I would like to hear what you think? Do you disagree with anything I've said? Would you take anything I've said to an even further extreme? Please let me know what you think about this, because the thing with thought projects is that they don't really work so well when you only have one train of thought contributing to the project. Help me out, help me think on a bigger or different scale.
Just about everyone has heard the stereotypical nickname for Berkeley "Bizerkley" and I just realized, not for the first time, that there is something dangerous in stereotypes. They prevent you from seeing what is really there. Stereotypes tell you what you're seeing, they take away your freedom of interpretation (to a certain extent).
For instance, if a person had never been to Berkeley before but had heard about all the strange kind of people who live here, they would possibly feel that there is no reason to go to Berkeley since they already "know" what's there. Or, perhaps, they would visit Berkeley and only see enough of it to justify and prove the stereotype they have heard. It takes a rare person to hear of a stereotype, see the stereotype and still look deeper. As I've tried to do that over the last few hours as I walked from Crepevine to Amoeba to Moes and finally to Caffe Med I've seen some incredibly beautiful people that everyone else seems to glance over.
I know I'm as guilty of this "glancing over" as the next person is so I'm not trying to bash on anyone who's done it; but I am trying to bring to light the fact that there is something in every human being that makes them beautiful, whether you're attracted to them aesthetically or not. I think it's the same thing that makes each person so uniquely different. There's a light in a person's eyes that doesn't quite shine exactly the same as the light in everyone else's eyes.
Growing up I heard the phrase, "The eyes are the window to the soul" and I think that's exactly true in this instance. And, I think, it is this glimpse you get when you look into a person's eyes that makes them beautiful. Their innermost being, not what they cloth themselves with, is what makes them beautiful. I can say that, "God created man in His own image" and that's why we, as living souls are beautiful, because we have been made in likeness to Him who is Beauty. You may ask me to defend my self on that claim and I will, gladly, but not in this post. The point of this post is to point out the fact that aesthetics are not what make a person beautiful, aesthetics are merely the things that attract different kinds of people to other people and things.
My question then, is this: How or why are aesthetics a reflection or interpretation of beauty? Why do we feel a need to create aesthetics? Is it because it is the only way we can express the beauty we know is within ourselves?
I have my own thoughts on this but I would like to hear what you think? Do you disagree with anything I've said? Would you take anything I've said to an even further extreme? Please let me know what you think about this, because the thing with thought projects is that they don't really work so well when you only have one train of thought contributing to the project. Help me out, help me think on a bigger or different scale.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A Mystery
My question for today (and please do answer it) is really simple. Do you think you could live without any beauty in your life and your interactions with the world?
Saturday, April 23, 2011
For the Love of all things Beautiful
Poetry is one of the most widely accepted forms of created beauty. Whether you enjoy poetry or not, you know it is considered beautiful and is used when trying to romance someone.
Plato said in his Symposium, "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
What is it, do you think, that connects love and beauty together so strongly?
Plato said in his Symposium, "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
What is it, do you think, that connects love and beauty together so strongly?
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
. . . m y i n s p i r i a t i o n . . .
Beauty.
One of the world's most difficult concepts to define has been most popularly stated as being, "in the eye of the beholder."
I would like to submit that it is not as subjective as this cliche suggests.
What exactly it is I cannot tell you, but I will tell you that there must be some incredible, deep, and rich truth beneath it that every man, woman and child wants.
Every person has a deeply rooted desire - I would go so far as to call it a need - for it.
Why?
Freud suggests that, "civilization could not do without it" despite it's "uselessness."
Our society has very nearly convinced us that it is merely a superficial thing that can be obtained, controlled and dominated. G.K. Chesterton once cautioned not to, "free a camel of the burden of his hump: you may be freeing him from being a camel."
His point was that as soon as you take some thing away from the laws of its own nature, it is no longer that thing. If this is the case, then as soon as you contain, control or dominate beauty, it ceases to be what it is.
These are just the beginnings of my thoughts on the matter. They are not by any means complete, nor are they thorough at this point. However, during the next few months I'll be working hard to whittle away all the fluff that surounds beauty and explore, hopefully, its true meaning and significance.
Will you join me?
If you've had even one thought or question about beauty while reading the above or even before reading it, will you write it down in a comment to share it with me? Through the years I've found that thought projects work better when there's more than one brain and set of life experiences involved.
What is your understanding of beauty?
One of the world's most difficult concepts to define has been most popularly stated as being, "in the eye of the beholder."
I would like to submit that it is not as subjective as this cliche suggests.
What exactly it is I cannot tell you, but I will tell you that there must be some incredible, deep, and rich truth beneath it that every man, woman and child wants.
Every person has a deeply rooted desire - I would go so far as to call it a need - for it.
Why?
Freud suggests that, "civilization could not do without it" despite it's "uselessness."
Our society has very nearly convinced us that it is merely a superficial thing that can be obtained, controlled and dominated. G.K. Chesterton once cautioned not to, "free a camel of the burden of his hump: you may be freeing him from being a camel."
His point was that as soon as you take some thing away from the laws of its own nature, it is no longer that thing. If this is the case, then as soon as you contain, control or dominate beauty, it ceases to be what it is.
These are just the beginnings of my thoughts on the matter. They are not by any means complete, nor are they thorough at this point. However, during the next few months I'll be working hard to whittle away all the fluff that surounds beauty and explore, hopefully, its true meaning and significance.
Will you join me?
If you've had even one thought or question about beauty while reading the above or even before reading it, will you write it down in a comment to share it with me? Through the years I've found that thought projects work better when there's more than one brain and set of life experiences involved.
What is your understanding of beauty?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Please Reset.
This weekend I made a trip to Rome, Florence and Orvieto with my good friend Kelsey Heng (if you need photos done for anything and want the highest quality, she's your photographer). I spent my first few hours in Rome wandering by myself and while it was at first terrifying, in the end it was one of the most empowering experiences I've had in a long time. I now know that I am fully capable of making it on my own in a foreign city, culture and language. It was amazing being in a place that is so old and seeing things and places where emperors, priests, and movie stars walked and lived years ago.
By the end of my time in Rome my camera had stopped working and flashed a "please reset" code everytime I tried turning it on. While I was sad that my camera wasn't working it was kind of nice to spend all my energy on taking in what I was seeing instead of trying to capture it forever in one photo.
I was thinking about this today and realized that I am about to have a very similar warning code flash in my own life. "Please Reset" for America. I'm leaving in 4 days to go back to the states and stress is already starting to creep back into my daily life. I know that I have adjusted much more to Italian culture than I ever thought I could. I also know that American culture is so incredibly different that when I return I'm sure I will find difficulty in carrying on as I did before this trip.
Like with my broken camera, I think the best thing (and only thing) I can really do during my "cultural reset" is to spend all my energy on taking in the experience of such a large transition. Maybe, if I try to enjoy the last 4 days I have here ("Italian style") and maybe, if I let the wave of change (to another culture which used to be my own) just wash over me while I hold my breath...when I surface again it won't have been as bad as I thought. Maybe I'll be the better because of it all and maybe I'll be able to communicate how good it is to experience life in all it's mountains and valleys instead of rushing through it.
I've spent most of the last 4 days reflecting on everything I've witnessed and experienced here and there is so much more than you or I even can really fathom. There's something about changing cultures for an extended period of time that changes the way you see things, whether its just the everyday things or the entire world.
To those of you who supported me through this whole expereince from the planning phase to the follow through, I just want to say thank you so very much for playing a part in one of the biggest changes my life has ever had. Thank you for helping me take one more step on the path to growing up into a better person.
I doubt I will post again before my trip back to the states, but on my return I will be transcribing many different cultural observations into papers for a class and I will post them here as well, just in case you're interested and want to read them.
Buona giornata e ciao.
By the end of my time in Rome my camera had stopped working and flashed a "please reset" code everytime I tried turning it on. While I was sad that my camera wasn't working it was kind of nice to spend all my energy on taking in what I was seeing instead of trying to capture it forever in one photo.
I was thinking about this today and realized that I am about to have a very similar warning code flash in my own life. "Please Reset" for America. I'm leaving in 4 days to go back to the states and stress is already starting to creep back into my daily life. I know that I have adjusted much more to Italian culture than I ever thought I could. I also know that American culture is so incredibly different that when I return I'm sure I will find difficulty in carrying on as I did before this trip.
Like with my broken camera, I think the best thing (and only thing) I can really do during my "cultural reset" is to spend all my energy on taking in the experience of such a large transition. Maybe, if I try to enjoy the last 4 days I have here ("Italian style") and maybe, if I let the wave of change (to another culture which used to be my own) just wash over me while I hold my breath...when I surface again it won't have been as bad as I thought. Maybe I'll be the better because of it all and maybe I'll be able to communicate how good it is to experience life in all it's mountains and valleys instead of rushing through it.
I've spent most of the last 4 days reflecting on everything I've witnessed and experienced here and there is so much more than you or I even can really fathom. There's something about changing cultures for an extended period of time that changes the way you see things, whether its just the everyday things or the entire world.
To those of you who supported me through this whole expereince from the planning phase to the follow through, I just want to say thank you so very much for playing a part in one of the biggest changes my life has ever had. Thank you for helping me take one more step on the path to growing up into a better person.
I doubt I will post again before my trip back to the states, but on my return I will be transcribing many different cultural observations into papers for a class and I will post them here as well, just in case you're interested and want to read them.
Buona giornata e ciao.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
10...9...8...7........
I can't believe I only have ten more days here. I wish I was staying longer because I'm finally at the point where I can (sort of) communicate what I'm feeling and thinking. My Italian has improved, my host family's English has improved and my understanding of how incredibly huge this world is has grown exponentially.
I just returned yesterday from a weekend trip to Ravenna, Vicenza, Venezia, and Verona (photos to follow soon). I'm more tired than I was from the jet lag when I first arrived. It was a great trip and I really enjoyed getting to know my new friend Mel who went with me (She's also American). I have to say that Ravenna is my favorite city I've been to. There was a calm, laid back feel to the city and I think if I ever were to live in Italy I would live there.
It was great to see an old friend in Vicenza and make new ones :) It was also really nice to have American food, haha. As great as my trip was I can't express how happy I am to be back with my host family. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I came back. My host family has become my "home" away from home. This weekend I go to Rome and Florence and as exciting as that is, I'm wishing I would have gone earlier so I could just spend the rest of my time here with my family.
I hope you're all doing well and I promise to get the photos up today or tomorrow
I just returned yesterday from a weekend trip to Ravenna, Vicenza, Venezia, and Verona (photos to follow soon). I'm more tired than I was from the jet lag when I first arrived. It was a great trip and I really enjoyed getting to know my new friend Mel who went with me (She's also American). I have to say that Ravenna is my favorite city I've been to. There was a calm, laid back feel to the city and I think if I ever were to live in Italy I would live there.
It was great to see an old friend in Vicenza and make new ones :) It was also really nice to have American food, haha. As great as my trip was I can't express how happy I am to be back with my host family. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I came back. My host family has become my "home" away from home. This weekend I go to Rome and Florence and as exciting as that is, I'm wishing I would have gone earlier so I could just spend the rest of my time here with my family.
I hope you're all doing well and I promise to get the photos up today or tomorrow
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Pancakes and Pan
Tonight Giorgio and I were home alone for dinner so I made pancakes. He had never had them before and to my own delight he liked them very much! We didn't have syrup so we tried cheese, and prosciutto, and jam, and honey on different pancakes....all were delicious and I can't tell you how comforting familiar food was :)
We followed our pancakes with Peter Pan. Giorgio is currently reading the continuing story of Peter Pan in Italian and I thought he might like the film I brought with me. He liked it so much I gave it to him. It's fun to share my favorite story with someone who loves it just as much as I do. Watching it in English helped him with his English and starting tomorrow he is going to help me read his book in Italian.
I gave Fiorella a Bible study on the book of Jonah in English and Italian (and then I have my own copy in Italian) and we are going to start it tomorrow. I'm really excited about that. And hope that it means something more than just a language class...
Since I've been here I've been wondering over and over if my time here means anything more than "just another exchange student" to the people I've met. Today Fiorella told me that for the first time ever (she has hosted a lot of international students) she will be sad to see her guest leave. That made me feel really good but I realized it has nothing to do with me or what I've tried to do. The last few weeks I've felt that I haven't done much of anything helpful on any level, but apparently something (or Someone) is working here.
My thoughts about the beauty of my not being in control were furthered earlier this afternoon when I sat down to play with a wooden puzzle. There are six pieces to the puzzle and they have to all intertwine to make a 3D cross. I spent hours my first week here trying SO hard to figure it out, and I couldn't. Then, today as I sat only half engaged in what my hands were doing with the pieces I put it together. I found it funny that the less I thought about it and tried to do it the easier and quicker it was to do...
I'm not sure why I have such a hard time learning things the first time around (maybe because I'm so stubborn) but I know that I've learned the lesson of surrendering control multiple times before now and still I struggle with it.
I don't know if you've ever experienced anything similar to this or if you've ever experienced the reward of letting go of the controls....but I can testify that it is worth the risk. I'm not saying to throw your hands in the air and say, "I won't take any responsibility in governing my life" what I am saying is that there is something very good in not trying to force the pieces of your life together.
As an identified "control freak" (as my family calls me every so often) I know how difficult and uncomfortable it is to not feel in control...and I know that usually a person feels "good" when they are in control of things. But having your faith in something or Someone proven is a feeling that trumps anything else I can think of. I think maybe that feeling is one that the people I've met here want, but can't understand. They aren't "control freaks" and the most common reaction to crisis is to just go with the flow. But there's no faith in anything. They've just thrown their hands in the air and are waiting to see what happens.
I may not know what to say or do to communicate the issue of faith, but I do know that I trust God more than I trust myself and that I am not controlling this time here in Italy, He is. I know - whether I witness it or not - that He is and will continue to work on, in and through these people. That He will continue to open their eyes when they seek Him....and that, has been the most comforting thought to me in all my pondering.
I'm a rambler like my father and I know this is long already so I'll let you return to your day...I sit here hoping that these words mean something to someone.
Thank you for giving up some of your time to read this...thank you for your prayers...and thank you for your encouragement.
We followed our pancakes with Peter Pan. Giorgio is currently reading the continuing story of Peter Pan in Italian and I thought he might like the film I brought with me. He liked it so much I gave it to him. It's fun to share my favorite story with someone who loves it just as much as I do. Watching it in English helped him with his English and starting tomorrow he is going to help me read his book in Italian.
I gave Fiorella a Bible study on the book of Jonah in English and Italian (and then I have my own copy in Italian) and we are going to start it tomorrow. I'm really excited about that. And hope that it means something more than just a language class...
Since I've been here I've been wondering over and over if my time here means anything more than "just another exchange student" to the people I've met. Today Fiorella told me that for the first time ever (she has hosted a lot of international students) she will be sad to see her guest leave. That made me feel really good but I realized it has nothing to do with me or what I've tried to do. The last few weeks I've felt that I haven't done much of anything helpful on any level, but apparently something (or Someone) is working here.
My thoughts about the beauty of my not being in control were furthered earlier this afternoon when I sat down to play with a wooden puzzle. There are six pieces to the puzzle and they have to all intertwine to make a 3D cross. I spent hours my first week here trying SO hard to figure it out, and I couldn't. Then, today as I sat only half engaged in what my hands were doing with the pieces I put it together. I found it funny that the less I thought about it and tried to do it the easier and quicker it was to do...
I'm not sure why I have such a hard time learning things the first time around (maybe because I'm so stubborn) but I know that I've learned the lesson of surrendering control multiple times before now and still I struggle with it.
I don't know if you've ever experienced anything similar to this or if you've ever experienced the reward of letting go of the controls....but I can testify that it is worth the risk. I'm not saying to throw your hands in the air and say, "I won't take any responsibility in governing my life" what I am saying is that there is something very good in not trying to force the pieces of your life together.
As an identified "control freak" (as my family calls me every so often) I know how difficult and uncomfortable it is to not feel in control...and I know that usually a person feels "good" when they are in control of things. But having your faith in something or Someone proven is a feeling that trumps anything else I can think of. I think maybe that feeling is one that the people I've met here want, but can't understand. They aren't "control freaks" and the most common reaction to crisis is to just go with the flow. But there's no faith in anything. They've just thrown their hands in the air and are waiting to see what happens.
I may not know what to say or do to communicate the issue of faith, but I do know that I trust God more than I trust myself and that I am not controlling this time here in Italy, He is. I know - whether I witness it or not - that He is and will continue to work on, in and through these people. That He will continue to open their eyes when they seek Him....and that, has been the most comforting thought to me in all my pondering.
I'm a rambler like my father and I know this is long already so I'll let you return to your day...I sit here hoping that these words mean something to someone.
Thank you for giving up some of your time to read this...thank you for your prayers...and thank you for your encouragement.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Mary Poppins
Dear Friends,
Today after Mass I went with Fiorella and Giorgio to visit Aurelio's mom, Giorgio's grandma. It was really nice to see how family takes care of each other here. I really hate the mindset in America that once a person gets old to the point where they become a burden the best thing to do is move them into an assisted living home. That will not be the case for my family if I have anything to say about it.
During our visit, I overheard Fiorella tell her sister-in-law something in Italian that included the words "Mary Poppins." When I looked at her she explained to me that I am her "Mary Poppins" because I am her teacher.
The idea made me smile since Mary Poppins is one of my favorite stories of all time but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am not the teacher here. Yes, I am helping her family with English but she and her culture are teaching me so many more things. And while yes, I now know that you must wear red (preferrably underwear) on New Years Eve for good luck and that if you have cold hands it means you're in love...the things I'm really learning are about how to live in a way that enjoys every minute life.
Italy is very much and event orriented culture, meaning they don't worry about "how much time" or "when" but rather they concern themselves with having the most fun at the party and making the most delicious food possible and spending quality time with the people they meet.
Coming from a very time orriented culture it has been difficult for me to adjust to this new approach to life, but from everything I've witnessed, I have to conclude that America could do with a little less "how long will it take"s and a little more "ciao, what did you do this week"s.
It almost seems to me to be an attempt to capture and revel in beauty. The beauty of life, the beauty of love, the beauty of God's creation and the beauty of relationships.
Last night we (Aurelio, Fiorella, Giorgio and I) went with Sophies family to visit Ascoli Piceno, a very historical town with old churches and architecture. We spent a good 2-3 hours walking around seeing everything there is to see there. (I saw a piece of street that has been there since the Roman Empire)
And the idea of Italian's wanting to capture beauty was only reinforced by the majestic artistry inside all the churches. It made me ask myself why modern churches don't try harder to make a place that worship's God - the essence of beauty - more beautiful.
Beauty has always been important to me...don't ask me why but ever since I was little I've been infatuated with all things lovely. You could probably say it is a fault of mine since I desire to be always surrounded by beautiful things - which, let's be honest, these days beauty tends to have a huge price tag. My point in sharing all this is to remind you that there are more important things out there than time and money no matter what our culture tells us...and whether or not it's difficult for you to see them I challenge you to look past what American society defines as important and see what you can learn from a different perspective.
Hoping God's beauty finds you this day,
Sarah
Today after Mass I went with Fiorella and Giorgio to visit Aurelio's mom, Giorgio's grandma. It was really nice to see how family takes care of each other here. I really hate the mindset in America that once a person gets old to the point where they become a burden the best thing to do is move them into an assisted living home. That will not be the case for my family if I have anything to say about it.
During our visit, I overheard Fiorella tell her sister-in-law something in Italian that included the words "Mary Poppins." When I looked at her she explained to me that I am her "Mary Poppins" because I am her teacher.
The idea made me smile since Mary Poppins is one of my favorite stories of all time but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am not the teacher here. Yes, I am helping her family with English but she and her culture are teaching me so many more things. And while yes, I now know that you must wear red (preferrably underwear) on New Years Eve for good luck and that if you have cold hands it means you're in love...the things I'm really learning are about how to live in a way that enjoys every minute life.
Italy is very much and event orriented culture, meaning they don't worry about "how much time" or "when" but rather they concern themselves with having the most fun at the party and making the most delicious food possible and spending quality time with the people they meet.
Coming from a very time orriented culture it has been difficult for me to adjust to this new approach to life, but from everything I've witnessed, I have to conclude that America could do with a little less "how long will it take"s and a little more "ciao, what did you do this week"s.
It almost seems to me to be an attempt to capture and revel in beauty. The beauty of life, the beauty of love, the beauty of God's creation and the beauty of relationships.
Last night we (Aurelio, Fiorella, Giorgio and I) went with Sophies family to visit Ascoli Piceno, a very historical town with old churches and architecture. We spent a good 2-3 hours walking around seeing everything there is to see there. (I saw a piece of street that has been there since the Roman Empire)
And the idea of Italian's wanting to capture beauty was only reinforced by the majestic artistry inside all the churches. It made me ask myself why modern churches don't try harder to make a place that worship's God - the essence of beauty - more beautiful.
Beauty has always been important to me...don't ask me why but ever since I was little I've been infatuated with all things lovely. You could probably say it is a fault of mine since I desire to be always surrounded by beautiful things - which, let's be honest, these days beauty tends to have a huge price tag. My point in sharing all this is to remind you that there are more important things out there than time and money no matter what our culture tells us...and whether or not it's difficult for you to see them I challenge you to look past what American society defines as important and see what you can learn from a different perspective.
Hoping God's beauty finds you this day,
Sarah
Loud and Clear
I hope each of you are kicking off 2011 with much joy and good health!
I've already posted some photos of my New Years Eve here in Italy. It was a cool experience to see how a culture different than my own celebrates something. An Italian word I learned my first week here is perfect to describe an Italian New Years, and the word is "casino." It means a lot of noise and chaos and that's exactly what I witnessed. My host family and I had dinner at the hotel Maxims where my host father was the entertainment for the evening (you can see photos in my Photos tab). As soon as people started to sit down for the first of the six course meal I realized that Italians, don't really care if they draw attention to themselves in public. A huge long table with a party of 20 or so stood up making a cheering kind of sound until everyone was participating, then they drank their toast to the new year. This occured multiple times before midnight was even close. Also, there was a little boy who sat at the table next to ours who - to my ammusement, at first - was content to plug his ears and scream an ear piercing scream everytime he didn't get what he wanted, which was quite often. The parents barely seemed to notice and I hardly saw a disapproving look from the anyone at other tables around us. (if I had been that child my father would have put a quick stop to my screaming, haha) At midnight, well just before midnight, the cheering started again and everyone was yelling and clanging as many glasses as they could, it was so loud in the room you had to yell so the person next to you could hear you. Then the count down began and the noise increased (which I didn't think was at all possible at this point). At "one" (or in Italian "uno") each table popped the cork on their proseco (champagne) bottles and toasted everyone a "buon anno" or "buon capo anno".
Then the real ruckus started. I never knew a city could get so roudy, legally. Fireworks were literally being set off everywhere! Inside as everyone was toasting multiple people had sparklers that they were waving around. As I went outside on the balcony with Giorgio every direction I turned I saw (and heard) fireworks. Right in the town between buildings explosions errupted in blues, whites, greens and reds. Fireworks litered the whole coast with sparks and kids lit fireworks on staircases and ran away with their ears covered. I never saw one policeman or police vehicle the whole night. It was quite literally a free-for-all.
An hour later, after all the fireworks had stopped everyone came back inside to dance the rest of the night away. My host mother told me weddings are the same way...my conclusion is that Italians really know how to celebrate! :)
(I have a lot of video footage of New Years and I will try to compile it for you all asap)
I've already posted some photos of my New Years Eve here in Italy. It was a cool experience to see how a culture different than my own celebrates something. An Italian word I learned my first week here is perfect to describe an Italian New Years, and the word is "casino." It means a lot of noise and chaos and that's exactly what I witnessed. My host family and I had dinner at the hotel Maxims where my host father was the entertainment for the evening (you can see photos in my Photos tab). As soon as people started to sit down for the first of the six course meal I realized that Italians, don't really care if they draw attention to themselves in public. A huge long table with a party of 20 or so stood up making a cheering kind of sound until everyone was participating, then they drank their toast to the new year. This occured multiple times before midnight was even close. Also, there was a little boy who sat at the table next to ours who - to my ammusement, at first - was content to plug his ears and scream an ear piercing scream everytime he didn't get what he wanted, which was quite often. The parents barely seemed to notice and I hardly saw a disapproving look from the anyone at other tables around us. (if I had been that child my father would have put a quick stop to my screaming, haha) At midnight, well just before midnight, the cheering started again and everyone was yelling and clanging as many glasses as they could, it was so loud in the room you had to yell so the person next to you could hear you. Then the count down began and the noise increased (which I didn't think was at all possible at this point). At "one" (or in Italian "uno") each table popped the cork on their proseco (champagne) bottles and toasted everyone a "buon anno" or "buon capo anno".
Then the real ruckus started. I never knew a city could get so roudy, legally. Fireworks were literally being set off everywhere! Inside as everyone was toasting multiple people had sparklers that they were waving around. As I went outside on the balcony with Giorgio every direction I turned I saw (and heard) fireworks. Right in the town between buildings explosions errupted in blues, whites, greens and reds. Fireworks litered the whole coast with sparks and kids lit fireworks on staircases and ran away with their ears covered. I never saw one policeman or police vehicle the whole night. It was quite literally a free-for-all.
An hour later, after all the fireworks had stopped everyone came back inside to dance the rest of the night away. My host mother told me weddings are the same way...my conclusion is that Italians really know how to celebrate! :)
(I have a lot of video footage of New Years and I will try to compile it for you all asap)
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