A book called Encouragement...

Ok the title of the this post is weird. Whatever.

The point is that I was encouraged while reading a book the last few days and I thought someone else might want a bit of it too.

One (of the many) revelations I had while reading said book:

When you are fighting so hard for something for such a long period of time and it seems like nothing you do is working....it really is....you just can't see it. The reason (I believe) you can't see it is because if you did you wouldn't fight as hard, and the intensity with which you fight must remain until the final victory. If you let up even a bit, even for a second, you will lose what you're fighting for. That's why we can't see the progress we make as it's happening, because we need to keep fighting with everything we have. So sometimes God keeps us from seeing the fruit of our efforts till it's completely ripened.

A Kid's Size Lesson

I'm sitting here in the production center, the place which over the last few months has basically served as my second home. For the last eleven hours I've been transferring all my hard work (photos, videos, etc) from the school's computer to mine.

While waiting for the files to transfer I decided to see what films I could find on YouTube and I got lucky with Disney's Mulan. I assume that you've all seen it before, and if you haven't, you ought to watch it (because I'll spoil it for you if you keep reading).

I think as adults it's too easy for us to pass off material meant for children as, "meaningless for us". If we still struggle with things as adults that troubled us as kids, it is equally possible for things that helped, motivated and encouraged us as kids to do the same for us still.

Children's stories ought never to be taken for granted.

When I got to the part of the film where Mulan is found out by the army and they spare her life but leave her on the mountain, I found myself sympathizing with her. I knew (I thought) exactly what she felt...not knowing which way to go because everything she had worked so hard for - poured her life into - was no longer an option. She felt lost, unsure whether she should go home or follow after the army or just sit there on the side of the road.

That's exactly where I've been for the last few weeks since graduation. I've been wrestling with all the things I want to do with my life, now that I'm "free" from school and just as seriously I've been unable to come to any conclusions. I've spent a lifetime "doing" school. A student's is the only life I've ever known, and now, I have to make new decisions. It's really difficult and rather scary.

Inspiration found me as I watched what happened next in Mulan's story. While trying to figure out which way she should go or what to do, the Huns (the army she had just helped destroy) resurrected itself and went after the Imperial city and the Emperor.

It forced her hand. Her circumstances took away her time to think and only gave her the option to act. She went after the Huns which turned out to be the right decision (obviously, I mean this is a Disney film we're talking about). What inspired me so much about this was the fact that when pressed hard enough she just acted on what she knew was right with herself and right to do.

I believe that deep down in the darkest corner of me, I really do know what I want next in my life and the only thing stopping me from going after it is all the thinking I do. I've been over-thinking and over-analyzing every option trying to make the smartest and best decision when all I really need to do is pick something and go for it.

Yes it is my life. Yes this is a big, somewhat serious decision. And yes, everything will be fine if I just pick a direction and go with it. The question I'm left with now is, "Do I have the courage to do what is necessary....to start moving and trust I'll instinctively make the right move?"

It takes courage to live life....ya?

Fairytales...

I think when we're kids we always imagine that when we're "grown up" everything will make sense and we'll have all the answers because adults know everything there is to know.

As we "grow up" and reach different stages of life like high school we realize that the grown ups don't always have all the answers. In fact a lot of the time they're wrong, leaving us to search for the true answers on our own. This of course leads to mistakes which can cause (as we all know too well) a lot of drama in our social life. That's when we begin believing that when we are "grown up" we will escape the drama because adults "never make mistakes".

Then we graduate college and realize that the unknowing, the drama...it never really goes away. It only fades a little. We only learn how to deal with it quicker because we've been dealing with it longer.

We realize as we step into the world of "grown ups" that adults really aren't that much different than we were as kids. They (I mean "we", of course) feel confused and hurt and insecure just as much as we did "growing up".

It's funny how a whole lifetime of understanding adults to be indestructible can turn in an instant...that instant when you realize you are an adult and all those things you believed turned out to be fairytales you made up somewhere in your imagination.

It's these fairytales that can prevent a person from living his or her life. A life spent trying to "have all the answers" or "never mess up or feel pain" is not a life at all. It's an attempt to remain a kid, afraid to cross over into the unknown. I know this because I've been doing it for years. I've realized though that life is not something you achieve or complete...at least not while you're living it. It's an on-going experience that you don't really get to look back on till it's over.

So what if you don't have the answers, keep looking...mess up...feel the pain; because that's what it is to be a "grown up". To feel all the confusion and pain and keep on walking, keep on trying....keep on living. It's to know that life isn't always comfortable, to face the fear of that fact with resolve, refusing to surrender to it's power.

Be the hero in your life's story. L I V E . Life finishes itself, so live now and live well.
That's what I'm going to do...get in the game(finally).
You in?